This past weekend Brian and I traveled to Atlantic Beach, North Carolina to participate in my dear friend Erika's wedding. I was part of the bridal party. The beach was beautiful, but the wedding even more so. Erika and Will paid attention to every little detail, and everything was purposeful, thoughtful and full of symbolism. The ceremony was powerful and moving, and they made me think (in a completely good way).
Erika is one of those friends that I don't talk to frequently. It may be months or sometimes years between phone calls, but we pick up where we left off when we do talk and can talk for hours, time permitting. Erika and I know each other from undergrad at UGA. We were in most, if not all, of our Art Education classes together. The groomsman that I was paired with pointed out that I have known Erika for a decade now. (What!? Crazy. But true!) Erika and Will chose their wedding day very purposefully. It was the anniversary of the Loving v. Virginia (1967) Supreme Court case. June 12. Each member of the wedding party had a reading. Here is what four of us read about the court case: Few cases were more aptly named than Loving v. Virginia, which pitted an interracial couple – Mildred Jeter, who was black, and her childhood sweetheart, a white construction worker named Richard Loving – against Virginia's "miscegenation" laws banning marriage between blacks and whites. After marrying in Washington, D.C. and returning to their home state in 1958, the couple was charged with unlawful cohabitation and jailed. They were sentenced to a year in prison, to be suspended if the couple agreed to leave the state for the next 25 years. The Lovings left Virginia and went to live with relatives in Washington, D.C. When they returned to visit family five years later, they were arrested for traveling together. Inspired by the civil rights movement, Mildred Loving wrote to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy for help. The couple was referred to the ACLU, which represented them in the landmark Supreme Court case, Loving v. Virginia (1967). The Court ruled that state bans on interracial marriage were unconstitutional, thus effectively legalizing interracial marriage nationwide. (ACLU Page) I didn't ask, but I like to think Erika assigned the readings also very purposefully. I read the last section. This fits into everything I have been processing the last year or so. Who am I? Where do I fit culturally - Asian heritage, but American culturally? Is it fair of me to ask my students to explore "identity" when I don't know where I fit culturally? Who am I outside of being an art teacher? Reading my portion of the court case made me think about my own marriage. To outsiders, I am in an interracial marriage. This is not something I have actively thought about....but, yeah! I am. Again, my heritage is Asian, but culture is Southern American. I've got a southern twang, and I ate gr-iee-ts (aka grits) as a child. I don't think of myself as different than Brian, but we do LOOK different. This brought more questions to mind: Why didn't this occur to me sooner? Are there different social expectations for different cultures? I remembered times, when as a child, my family was stared and gawked at. Two Caucasian parents and two Asian children. (My sister and I are both adopted) How does that happen? Are they just babysitting those girls? If one of my parents was off doing something, like getting our food or parking the car, the assumption was usually that we were mixed race, and the other parent was Asian. The looks of confusion when the other parent returned were sometimes amusing, sometimes hurtful. I thought about the times I was ridiculed and bashed for being Chinese, but also times I felt accepted and proud. My Asian heritage has been a part of many decisions, like where to go to college; but I do feel separated from the heritage. I should know more. I should be "more" Chinese. Have I somehow compartmentalized my life, to my detriment? Have I forgotten some things that make me who I am? The chairs were set up in a circle continuing the symbol of a wedding ring being never ending and continuous. The wedding party was standing among guests in the isles. We encircled Erika and Will in the center. We were on the beach (Erika's favorite). Each member of the wedding party read during the ceremony. The wedding was on the anniversary of the Supreme Court Case. Everything was thoughtful and purposeful. Beautiful. Erika and Will don't know this yet, but through the purposefulness and thoughtfulness of their wedding; they challenged me to be more thoughtful and aware of my own identity. It was a whirlwind of a weekend, complete with a run on the beach - which almost killed me. Running on sand is TOUGH. - our first AirBnB experience, sunburns because I forgot the sunblock, lots of food, and dancing, tears and laughter. I was honored to be asked to be in the wedding. I am grateful that I was able to witness Erika and Will's love in action.
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Another school year has come to an end for me. This marks 9 year of teaching elementary art. I have had the privilege of being in the same school and seeing numerous classes of 5th graders all the way through from Kindergarten to 5th grade. I get to really see them grow up!
This year brought new challenges. These challenges have strengthened us in the long run, but were very difficult in the moment. I never thought I'd have to deal with the loss of a student. But our school and community have truly come together in a beautiful way. I am proud to part of the NG community and am #caymolstrong. Personally, I also tried to find balance between work and home. It was a hard thing to do! I didn't find balance very well; some things were left undone for too long. There's just not enough time in the day! I now have specific goals for next year, year 10 with my students! :) Now to enjoy my summer! In all honesty, turning 30 did not bother me. The number. I actually kind of like being in my 30s. I feel like I'm finally an adult. Ha! But something has begun bothering me: the feeling of falling apart! I know, I know; I'm a baby in comparison to others. I'm not saying I'm old, I'm just saying I don't like the changes that comes with age. Does that make sense?
My sister turned 30 this week, and it got me thinking. A lot has happened to me physically since turning 30. Let's see...what has (seemingly) happened in the last year?
I am not complaining, and I can deal with these things. But, really? Brian keeps making fun of me calling me the "older woman" who's falling apart! His answer to every like ache or pain is "it's because you're old." Haha. Let's see what the next 9 years bring! I've been told everything will change again at 40... I'll be honest, this has been a difficult school year. I have been stretched, challenged, and drained. I am tired. I am worn out. I feel devalued and disrespected. As a Specials teacher, unfortunately, I'm used to this. But this year has been different. This year it has affected my instruction, me personally, and my passion for teaching. It's been a hard year. But, this past weekend, I traveled to Chicago and spent time with my people. 5,000+ art educators were in attendance, but I got to spend time with my art teacher friends. Ladies that I went through grad school with; ladies that understand me; ladies that I can pick up where we left off after a year of being apart. These ladies are my people. I look forward to this conference each year. I NEED this conference each year. It's refreshing, invigorating, and energizing. Not only are the workshops helpful, the time with my people is so.needed. It always comes at the right time. March is a CRAZY month for art teachers. Maybe it's just in my county? But it is absolutely crazy. Youth Art Month, Tapestry Art Show, and just craziness in general. It's crazy. Did I mention, March is crazy!? Here was my schedule last week: Thursday - half day sub to hang Tapestry show at county offices Friday - No School Monday - Tapestry Reception 6 - 7:30 pm Tuesday - Stayed late to do sub plans (for those of you non-teachers, sub plans always take longer than you think. It's usually just easier to come to work sick than to do sub plans.) & Kiln fire!?* Wednesday - Doctor appointment to remove stitches Thursday - 5:30 am - Leave for airport Friday - Saturday - Chicago for NAEA Convention I love my people. I needed the time away from the routine and the time with them. I was reminded of why I teach. I was excited again and refreshed for my classroom. We talked. We shared. We ate together. We stayed up late. We rode trains. We got up early. We attended workshops. I love my time with them. We stayed in an AirBnB this year, and it was perfect. Absolutely perfect. (And more cost effective!) The condo slept 8 people comfortably and was in a beautiful neighborhood of Chicago. I felt I got a city experience instead of a conference experience. I loved our commute to and from the convention. NAEA is an amazing experience each year for so many reasons.
I came back renewed and excited to teach again. I came back pumped up and ready to finish the year strong! In one short week, I have reverted to the disheartened and drained teacher. Large classes, disrespectful students, and silly complaints from parents wear on you. Maybe I need a thicker skin. Maybe I need to learn to let it go. But I don't. I can't. I'm tired. I plan to remember Chicago and cling to the experiences I had there. Cling to the excitement. I can do this. I can make it to the end of the year! *Kiln Fire* This is why I am thankful. In this case, I am so very thankful for a busy schedule. I am a believer in things happening for a reason. God was watching out for me and my school. I HAD to stay late Tuesday (instead of waiting until the next day) to do my sub plans for NAEA because of my doctor appointment Wednesday. And because I was there so late (it was 7:30 pm), I heard the firecracker pops the kiln made when the plug sparked in the socket. It sparked in the socket and melted! I was able to get the custodian who flipped the breaker to OFF and unplugged the kiln for me. We called the after-hours electrician, and crisis averted! No fires started. I am so very thankful for Anto and for staying late for sub plans. Brian and I are finally a two car family! Brian has driven a stick-shift Honda civic for years, for as long as I've known him. I, unfortunately, cannot drive a stick. We have had many lessons, and I think I could do it if I HAD to...but I was never comfortable with the actual shifting in traffic. I only drove on real roads once.
Well Brian's civic is 13 years old and has started showing it's age. It's been an amazing car! (and actually has less mileage on it than my 8 year old CR-V) We've been planning ahead and doing the online research for car options out there in case something where to happen to the civic, but we decided to test drive the top runners while I am on winter break. After two extremely different experiences at a Mazda dealership and a Jeep dealership, we are now the proud owners of a Mazda Cx-5! A new car has been part of the plan, we just did not anticipate buying the same weekend we test drove! But everything fell into place, and we now have a second car that I can actually drive! As 2015 draws to a close, I have been reflecting on all that has happened this year. We are blessed beyond measure. We have a safe home, supportive families, great friends, careers, financial means to have fun and to plan for the future, time together, and convenience in many forms. My complaints (i.e.: my students won't stop talking!) are tiny in the grand scheme of things, and I need to remember that.
This year:
Looking forward to what 2016 will bring! We have had a very blessed Christmas - family, friends, gifts, life. I say it a lot, but I will say it again - We have amazing families! And we are so thankful for the time we get to spend with them - at the holidays and throughout the year. This year we split up the family time. Brian's family on Christmas Eve and my family on Christmas Day. This was amazing! We had more time with each family and a much more relaxed holiday.
So relaxed that I was crazy forgetful! I forgot a few gifts on Christmas Eve, and then on Christmas Day I forgot most of the ingredients for the mac n cheese I was making as well as the slow cooker to cook it in! Whoops. If you know me at all, you know that I am extremely organized and I plan ahead (like, too far ahead sometimes). So this forgetfulness bothered me to no end. I don't know what happened! It was my dad's theory that I was so relaxed that I didn't have a "mental list" going like I normally would. We'll go with that! Gift giving has become a (for me) fun part of the Christmas celebration. I like the process of giving gifts - thinking about the person, what he/she would appreciate, and then finding that perfect gift. It's fun and exciting! Brian and I create lists each year, but I always enjoy going "off list" for a few items. As a Specials teacher, it's nice to be remembered with gifts and cards; but I am always blown away by the generosity and giving spirits of my students and their families. Sometimes I feel I don't deserve all that they shower me with! They definitely make me feel loved and valued. However, I will admit, I can get caught up in the "stuff" and my selfishness comes out. This year I received two gifts from siblings I teach. Their gifts were the best ones I received and helped me to remember what gift giving is all about! I received the brother's gift first. He came running up to my classroom door and thrust a tin can in my hand. "Here. This is for you." And he was gone as fast as he arrived. At first, I was confused by the gift. Why do I need a tin can? What am I going to do with this? He had created a new label for the can that just said, "To: Mrs. Arnold - From: R" I added the gift to my list (for thank you cards) and set the can on my desk. It was not until I got home that day and began unwrapping gifts that I understood. The brother's little sister had brought me a gift bag that morning. I had just set it down, planning to unwrap and "catalog" gifts later. Little sister had obviously wrapped the gift herself, complete with a handmade tag "To: Mrs. Arnold - From: M". Once I had broken through the large amounts of tape, I saw used crayons. Some were broken, some dull. Crayons of different brands and colors. It took me a minute to realize what she had given me. I started crying as soon as it clicked. She had given me her crayons! She wrapped up her own crayons to give to me. What a special gift and reminder of true giving. I plan to put her crayons in his tin can and keep them on my desk as a constant reminder. I am so grateful and thankful for not only the presents, but my students themselves. They are the reason I teach, and I learn from them daily. I am blessed and thankful for everything this holiday season! Goats eat everything, right? I'm not making that up am I?
I think our orange tabby, Wheatley, must be part goat. He will eat anything! Even with us being extremely careful and watchful, he still finds things that he shouldn't eat and eats them! Three years ago, he actually had to have surgery because he had eaten a pistachio shell, and it caused a stomach obstruction. Well, now he's eaten some tinsel ribbon. I had purchased a gift bag and was unpacking my shopping bags. I walked to the bathroom to put somethings away, and when I came back, he was gnawing away at the bag! I think he got a good couple of inches of silver tinsel... And now for the waiting game. Watching (and praying) for it to come out the other end. Dumbest cat ever! I still love him though. Today started like any other school day. I was even ready a few minutes early, allowing me to leave early and give me a few extra minutes of quiet in my classroom before school started.
However, today was not any other school day. Today, we experienced a great loss. Last night one of our school families was involved in a terrible car accident, and one of my 5th grade students passed away. I taught him on Monday. He was quiet, but engaged. He did his work and followed directions. I didn't think twice about it. Did I even speak to him? Or was I too busy? And now, he's gone. Taken too soon. I had the privilege of seeing him grow up. I have been his art teacher since Kindergarten. I saw him grow and mature. I taught both of his older siblings. I cannot even begin to understand what the family is going through. I was "just" their art teacher, and I am heartbroken and profoundly changed. Life is precious. Cherish every moment. These thoughts have run through my head repeatedly today. Praying constantly for the family, my school, and the community. He will be remembered. Brian and I have so much to be thankful for again this year. Words may not do it justice. Late last night while we were on our way home, I got caught up in my own thoughts. I was content and grateful. Quiet. We have been blessed beyond measure, and unfortunately on a busy, stressful daily basis, I often forget to stop and remember those blessings.
I am so glad we have a holiday that helps me to remember to be thankful. It seems silly to even say that, but it's true! It is dedicated time set aside for giving thanks. Each year, Brian and I make the trip to two family gatherings. It's a long day, and I'm worn out the day after; but it is so very worth it. Our families, and the time we get to spend with them, is the top thing I am thankful for. Without their love, sacrifice, and effort, we wouldn't be the people we are today. On Brian's side, we have non-traditional traditions. No turkey or dressing, but a meal shared together. For the last two years, we have had brunch. It's delicious and the perfect way to start the day. Then we make a trip out to the Christmas tree farm! We cut a small one down for the back porch, and we pick out a large Frasier Fir (that's been shipped in from elsewhere) for the family room. This year we were able to sit on the porch and chat. The weather was perfect. Too warm for November, but beautiful. Then we make an hour+ drive to the other side of town to see my side. We have the traditional Southern comfort food. We've done away with a lot of the casseroles we used to have at grandma's, but we still have macaroni and cheese, green beans, and cornbread stuffing with turkey and gravy. We sit around and talk over dinner and dessert. Traditional dinner is also delicious and the perfect way to end the day! I am thankful for...
Here is a blog post that I came across on Facebook. It's hilarious. And so true. My favorite is the cardigans. Along with teal, I may have a problem with cardigans...Teacher Thanks In all seriousness though, my goal is to be more mindful of giving thanks all the time. Not just on Thanksgiving day, but every day. |
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December 2017
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